As a consumer, I am constantly frustrated by the “listen too little” or “talk too much” nature of customer service today. It afflicts all levels and types of customer service – from incessant outreach to provide “helpful information” and never-ending upselling in the name of a better deal for the customer to inattentiveness and under-communicating.

Much of the malaise can be laid at the feet of technology, frequently through automated systems designed to streamline support and ensure complete communication with a customer. Automated text protocols used to schedule, inform, offer services, survey, and simplify other customer interactions, which seem like a convenient and time-saving perk to some. To others, they can become irritating and irrelevant.

The same can be true when daily emails and/or phone calls – a form of relentless blitzkriegs – clutter up inboxes and distract people engaged in other activities.

Between unrelenting texts, emails, and sometimes phone calls, customers can feel bombarded with unwanted outreach. Often, these involve offers they never requested or feel like sales pitches they don’t want. The end result is feeling unheard and irritated by what clearly is a robotic assembly line process.

Then, there’s the other side of the continuum, where customers wind up feeling “ghosted.” Amid multiple attempts to steer customers toward resources that don’t require live interaction or forcing callers into seemingly endless phone trees, customers understandably get frustrated. Chatbots often add to the dissatisfaction with feedback that doesn’t address questions being asked.

Equally infuriating is getting a live rep who’s so busy fulfilling scripting obligations that they can’t or won’t listen to what the customer is saying. Irrelevant or generic responses that don’t address the issues at hand also irritate instead of providing a level of satisfaction.

What’s missing is balance. Real customer service means listening first, understanding the unique needs of each person, and responding with relevance and respect. It’s about quality of interaction, not just quantity. Customers want to feel valued, not processed or pestered.

The companies that get this right use technology to enhance – not replace – the human element. They empower their teams to actually listen, personalize their responses, and know when to step back. In the end, the best customer service feels like a conversation, not a campaign.

Companies that strike the right balance use technology strategically and wisely to improve response times, consistency, and the accuracy and completeness of communication. They also stay vigilant about being good listeners and offering tailored solutions that meet needs, not just check off a to-do list on a recorded call so that supervisors can see that they’re staying “on script.”

Following is a short list of guidelines that companies can follow to find the sweet spot between “too much” and “too little”:

• Use the same communication protocols deployed normally to determine (and confirm) customer communication preferences. Periodically, check in to see if anything has changed. Email, text, live support, and automated support are all in the mix. Then, make sure to honor these preferences, which, by the way, include live support phone numbers that don’t require meandering through a complicated maze to find.

In today’s over-complicated world, however, even stated preferences can be tricky. I typically am okay with email, text, and live support options. However, on occasion my annoyance with seemingly endless texts has caused me to opt out, thinking that there will always be other communication options.

In one such instance, I discovered that a provider had gone to an all-text billing system. Without another option being requested (e.g., snail mail), all bills would be texted. I blocked the number because of my annoyance with their system, not realizing that this also was blocking billing updates. I ultimately got a letter urging me to send payment. I had no clue that anything was due. Oops!

• Quit blindly worshipping at the altar of total automation! Texts in particular seem to be offputting. It seems like everyone has migrated to some type of automated text system. Evaluate effectiveness by asking customer-facing employees to note customer complaints or concerns. On more than one occasion, I’ve called a company to complain that their texting protocol wasn’t working properly. The standard answer: “Yeah, we know.” Unfortunately, without some systemic way of addressing this, “yeah, we know” probably will be as far as the solution goes. The frustration will continue, both from customers and, by association, for employees fielding calls from annoyed customers.

• Make getting customer feedback a personal experience again instead of tagging every interaction with a templated survey. I’m much more likely to respond consistently and authentically to a human being asking me how I feel than dealing with now-ubiquitous survey-gathering. It’s not the idea that’s the problem. But, once again, it’s the highly-automated way it’s done. If a company values my input, they can take the time to approach me in a personal, personable way.

As is the case so often these days, the best customer service practices are more about common sense and commitment than anything else. More than ever, most of us crave compassion and caring amid a decidedly impersonal and, in many cases, larcenous world. Show some customer service kindness, and see it come back to you in the forms of customer loyalty and longevity.

Mark Lusky (www.markluskycommunications.com/mark-lusky-bio) is the president of Lusky Enterprises, Inc. (www.markluskycommunications.com), a 41-year-established marketing communications company dedicated to clients that live and breathe trust, likeability, and respect (thereby eschewing the “lie, cheat, steal” culture so prevalent today). Contact him at: 303-621-6136; mark@marklusky.com.